I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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