Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
