thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
