So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
