she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How naked do you want me to be?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
