i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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