walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
