Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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