Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
