You work out of a Hotel?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
