I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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