if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
