So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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