i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
