The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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