If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
