he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
