True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
