i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
