But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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