But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
