I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can I color on your dick again?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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