Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
