The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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