I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
