She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
