They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
