i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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