I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize