If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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