Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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