Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
