All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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