from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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