So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
