Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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