you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
