Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
