Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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