I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
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