I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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