dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
