She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
