he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
