FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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