Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
