is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
