ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
