A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
