i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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