You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When are your genitals available?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
