Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
