I got chris browned last night
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
