i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize