We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I believe in your delicious
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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