Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
thus making me awesome and them whores
im about as happy as oj after his trial
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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