we have pet lesbian snakes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
