Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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