Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How's work?
Spinning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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