once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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