So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
