Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
