She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize