Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
