They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
