You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
