No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
