I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
