yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
