But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
