You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
