Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
