I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
cat food counts as protein by the way
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize