you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
