I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
