My room smells like vodka and shame
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize