I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
