Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
