But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
