Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
