Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
